For Years we have used #OwnYourFemininity in our social media and printed material, the hashtag is a very personal one for me. As women, we struggle with the mixed and confusing message we get from the society around us. Are we fit enough, are we smart enough? Are we feminine enough? Are we strong enough? are we confident enough? are we overconfident? Are we emotional? Are we too emotional? The confusing and conflicting tips of how to “be a woman” is just overwhelming. Having five nieces has taught me at a young age that I have to get my attitude together asap and figure things out for myself because I saw how influenced they are by my lifestyle and the way I carry myself. I didn’t choose to be a role model, my position in the family as one of seven siblings and being an aunt for five fine young boys and five magnificent young girls are such a responsibility.

I had my own struggles with my confidence, self-love, self-value and self-image. Those days are long gone now but I remember being a teenager and not knowing who I was. I reached a point where I had to love myself, value myself and encourage myself for whatever I was at that time of my life.  Owning my femininity was coined after I came to peace with my body type. I was told a top-heavy body type and I’ve heard so many remarks ALL THE TIME as if having any body type is a permit for people to comment on your body. I started being conscious about my body type when I was a teenager and I got the wrong attention from the wrong people, I learned to hide my body because it brought me feelings of insecurity and I felt I have to be guarded to protect myself. I hit my 20s and I started exploring with traveling, falling in love and achieving goals, it felt liberating to learn to navigate the conversation from my body to what I’m doing and my dreams and aspirations and the steps I was taking to achieve them. The art of handling people didn’t come to me naturally, it comes with experience. Nowadays it is much easier because people are more aware, I think in my circles at least but I’ve been owning my body type and femininity for a long time now and I didn’t realize I did it until my nieces hit teenage years and I saw the struggles they are going through and it reminded me of my own struggles at that clueless age. Owning your femininity is loving yourself (whatever self you have right now) regardless of your age, size, color, or confidence level. Confidence and happiness come after you love yourself, heck all kind of magic happens after you start loving yourself, so here’s my advice to everyone who is judging themselves too hard: Would you be hard on your best friend like you’re hard on yourself? Don’t love others more than you love yourself, Love your self every day, every moment and in any self-image you have and love yourself NOW.

You don’t have to have boudoir photoshoot done to learn about loving yourself and owning your femininity but it absolutely is the icing on the cream. I’ll write another blog post about boudoir photography and how it helps my clients own their femininity but for now, I’ll leave you with this: Love your self… Love your self.